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Post by Gareth on Jul 16, 2006 12:08:04 GMT
Top things DJs hate to hear...
1. Play some real music.
2. Play something that somebody actually wants to hear.
3. Play something faster,more upbeat.
4. Play something we can dance to.
5. Play something that has a beat.
6. Don't play any crap.
7. Shut this off! (so what if the dance floor is full!)
8. Nobody likes this; it sucks ,you suck.
9. I need a song,but I don't know what it is.
10. Throw on some Zeppelin, it'll get them rockin!
11. Thanks,now play the whole CD.
12. So it skips,play it anyway!
13. Play it! Or I'll knock you into next week!
14. Don't play it, cause my friend is here and she'll cry.
15. It's the only song my boyfriend knows how to dance to.
16. Play it and I'll love you forever.
17. There's fifty quid in it for you (yea...right)
18. Next,next,next,next! Play it next! It's gotta be next!
19. Don't play it next, wait 'till I come back.
20. You didn't just play it! I've been here all night and I haven't heard it.
21. Play it again, no one will notice.
22. Don't play that, everybody's sick of it.
23. Nobody cares what you play, they just wanna drink.
24. Everybody'll dance. Everybody wants to hear it.
25. Play it next 'cause we're gonna leave right away.
26. Play it now or I'll leave.
27. It's a request...you have to play it.
28. Play it or I'll have you fired.
29. Hey! Remember who's paying you!
30. We can't hear it in the back. Turn it up!
31. It's too loud up front, turn it down.
32. What songs you got? Let me look through your stuff. Don't worry I know what I'm doing,I have CD's at home.
33. I think it's the third or fourth song....just play the whole CD.
34. You know the song....it goes like this "Da Dun Da Da De Da...."
35. There's some guy singing and maybe a guitar....oh... and drums.
36. Your're the DJ , you should know it.
37. What do you mean you don't have it, sure you have it.
38. Just listen to me and I'll get them dancing. Trust me.
39. Yeah I'm a DJ, me. Oh yeah, I play some really big clubs, I'm very well known in *insert name of somewhere far away* and I get paid s#!tloads, etc. (Funny how you encounter these popular and busy DJs on friday and saturday nights, you'd think they'd be out gigging instead...)
40. Can you play this tape for me? Don't worry, it sounds fine, I held the microphone really close to the radio.
41. You've got time for one more. Come on! I know the owner.
42. Just one more and we'll leave. Really we will.
43. Where's your turntables? You're not a proper DJ unless you got decks.
44. A computer? You're not a proper DJ, that's cheating.
45. Why did you play my request wile I went to the toilet. You'll have to play it again! (even though it had just finnished playing).
Is it just me? Because lately everyone keeps saying, "Play track 3" or "play track 5" How can I when I'm playing a song I've had for month's then some bright spark decided to put it on clubland 12345... I know Djing means knowing your music, but remembering tracklistings from random CDs can't be part of it!?
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Post by itsandrew on Sept 4, 2006 10:46:39 GMT
Put it on next - We're going in a minute
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Post by Gareth on Jul 19, 2008 9:41:48 GMT
I get preitty much all of the above every week!
All these become true and 10 times worse when doing karaoke - everyone demands they are on next ! lol.
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Post by Gareth on Nov 29, 2008 11:33:08 GMT
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Post by Gareth on Dec 2, 2008 17:19:56 GMT
I should go to the places these people work and tell them they arn't scanning that bar code through the checkout in the correct way! Why do people always think they can tell a DJ how to do his job, but they wouldn't be impressed if I went to where they worked and told them how to suck eggs!
"The management say your no longer required"
Oh well in a way Im glad. only 3 nights off a week was getting me down. Will get something new soon. A change is always good.
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Post by Gareth on Dec 13, 2009 13:29:13 GMT
It's Christmas....Let's have a bit of fun
With Christmas parties in full swing, here's some light relief. How many of these 'guests' do you recognise?
Uncle Reg the Rave (Paramedics at the Ready)
This is the guy who normally only gets exercise when the TV remote is broken, but thinks he can show the youngsters how to do the twist. Half way through, his face is so red that you can reduce your lighting by half!
How to spot: wears trousers that will only button under his beer gut, sits near the bar so he doesn't have to walk far, has to be carried out at the end of the night!
Damien (cue the scary music)
The tearaway, hyperactive kid. He runs riot at the venue, knocking things over, getting under your feet and sliding across the dance floor on his knees.
How to spot: look for three 6's under his hairline.
Larry the Loner
This is the outcast - once he's found someone who will talk to him (ie you) he's there for the night.
How to spot: unfortunately by the time you realise it's a "Larry" it's too late because you've already said 'Hello'.
Derek the Drunk
This is the guy who's just topping up from the night before.
How to spot: He falls over all your gear while you're setting up and you can't understand a word he says. Try introducing him to Larry (above)
Auntie Minnie the Moaner
"The music's too loud, the lights flash too much, you haven't played any Bay City Rollers etc"
How to spot: She's in front of the decks every 5 minutes and even when she's not you can hear her over the music complaining from the other end of the room
Cousin Edgar the Expert (Ex = has been, Spurt = drip under pressure) From the moment you arrive he's telling you how he should be on radio 1
How to spot: He stands at your shoulder telling you what to play until you tell him politely to go & enjoy himself or introduce him to Larry/Derek.
Britney the Spoilt Brat
She lies in the middle of the dance floor and screams loud enough to set off the noise limiter just because you wouldn't play her song immediately.
How to spot: not hard, just follow the screams. May also be called Kylie, Naomi, Cheryl or any other name that was fashionable when she was born.
Anton the Attention Seeker
This is the guy who insists on standing right in front of you and talking whilst you're using the mic. He then tries to wrestle the mic from you because he wants to mumble a few words.
How to spot: well you can't miss him because he's in your face. Give him a broken/inflatable mic and send him on his way.
Dan the DJ
His first words will be "I'm a DJ too". He will know the ideal track to fill the dance floor, although its already heaving at this point. He'll badger you all night for "a go" as probably the only thing he usually has had in front of him is the bedroom wall.
How to spot: Difficult not to, he's normally got your headphones on when you turn back.
Paul the Popstar
The person whose party it is 'specifically' invited him so that he could sing "Wonderwall". Strangely enough.....your client is blissfully unaware of this previous conversation.
How to spot: Keeps eyes transfixed on your mic while trying to make a crafty grab for it....and thats before he introduces himself.
Vince the videographer
Its the bride and grooms first dance. Subtle colours wash the dance floor with delicate lighting from a cluster laser when ....WHAPP!!! Enough lights are turned on to drain the National grid. All you can see on the dance floor are 3 silhouetted shapes, the bride and groom ... and Vince.
How to spot: commandeers all the plug sockets in the room for charging his equipment forcing you to run a 10m extension from another room.
Dave the Doorman
Dave is the one that seeks out and installs himself bang in the middle of the only feasible exit for that room. After numerous "excuse me"s, he tilts his large frame slightly to one side.
How to spot: It required a site visit for you to determine the best access; Dave finds it by pure instinct.
Samantha the Smoker
Samantha is always outside having a cigarette when you play her favourite songs, so you 'must' play them again.
How to spot: Very hard to spot, as she's hardly ever in the room.
Out of time Tina
You've announced there is only an hour left, then last orders and the final song.......when Tina appears with a request and can't understand why you're not able to play it.
How to spot: You don't see her all evening, but she'll be at your side when there's one minute to go.
And finally ........
Auntie Maud
She is polite, spends most of the night on the dance floor and congratulates you at the end for a job well done.
How to spot: sadly this species is in decline so if you do come across one treat with respect and invite her to all your other events.
Happy Christmas!
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Post by Gareth on Oct 16, 2010 9:29:13 GMT
2010DJing – It’s An Easy Life… by Dave Evans on September 23, 2010 People often say to me DJing is an easy job, after all, you just turn up, play your tunes, have a couple of drinks and go home. As the Meerkat would say – Simples! My response to that is quite simple… here is what a mobile DJ faces for a wedding: Pre-Event Advertising then getting the bookings, confirming all details and play lists, getting confirmation from the venues for access rights and times available. Morning Check dates for tonight; ensure you have correct contact details for party and venue, then check that all requests/play lists are complete and the collection that you will be taking tonight. Double check that your first dance selection plays including a second copy of it as back up. Check for any extra items that have been added for the event. Lunchtime Load up the transport with all the equipment required, check to make sure you have enough spares in case something breaks down. Get to the venue to rig up to find that the space you were told you can have is no taken up by Uncle Bob who has set up his video camera on the stage for the afternoon meal. Negotiate with staff at venue to get gear loaded up and put in. This takes time and when you have a number of locations to rig up increases the stress as you know you have to get everything in before the evening. Find that the plug sockets are further away than you thought, the lights are too tall for the room, the speakers are too near the table where they’ve put all the old people, etc. Leave everything there ready to go in the hope that no one decides to interfere with the equipment while you are out of the building. Sticky pieces of wedding cake on the CD players are normally a good giveaway. Evening Return to the function with all your CDs ready for the evening, all suited and booted looking good and ready to rock the party for a solid 4 hours then go home, easy isn’t it? Except during the course of the night you have to face: Dealing with kids whose parents think you are a children’s entertainer and that it’s ok to stick their heads in the speakers. Drunken guests who demand that you put Megadeath/Iron Maiden on straight after the first dance. Getting paid for the evening before the groom/best man is too drunk to remember that they owe you money. Distant relatives wanting to sing on the mic because back home they are professional singers (in reality they normally destroy ‘Simply The Best’ at the local karaoke night and the regulars there are glad they’ve got rid of her for the night). The Groom and Bridesmaid going missing just before the first dance and reappearing together (and I’ve had this happen more than once). Going to the toilet and coming back to find someone looking through your records. Oh, and the little task of thinking every 3 minutes or so what record to play next to keep the dance floor busy all night. Then after the event’s done and the B&G have thanked you (occasionally), you’ve got paid, survived another night and everyone has gone, there is still the rig to dismantle and load back up into your transport, get home, put into storage. It’s normally about an hour and half after the gig has finished by the time you get home, then back into bed to do it all again the next day on 5 hours sleep! Not forgetting that most of us have families that would like to see us once in a while at weekends. So yes we do have it easy and just turn up and go – don’t we?  blog.mastermixdigital.com/djing/djing-its-an-easy-life/ |
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Post by Dave Evans on Jan 13, 2011 11:16:12 GMT
Many thanks for the reference, thats one of my blogs and was the easiest to write. Be sure to check out my others on the mastermix site.
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Post by Gareth on Dec 27, 2011 11:59:06 GMT
I hate having no choise to go out to work. It's not like I can call in sick - no one else can do it  It was terrible this Christmas seeing as I had Norovirus. I would have paid them not to have gone. I also hate it when my mates are off on nights out and I get invited, but can never go because Im always working, now I hardly ever get asked because they know what my reply will be. I need to put my prices up I think, could do with some time off! |
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Post by Gareth on Jun 23, 2012 0:53:29 GMT
How come I always get asked to put the air con or heating on? I have lots of buttons, but sadly none of them are wired into the venue's systems.
Same with the lights - they arn't controlled by the DJ either. If it's too light go ask some staff member to sort it. lol
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Post by Gareth on Jun 30, 2012 16:42:28 GMT
Got asked today if I was sick of doing weddings! lol. She wasn't kidding. I do them just about every weekend. I never want a disco if I get married. Or if I did I'd have to have someone like Pete Tong or Judge Jules Djing at a massive club, not a scabby village hall lol. People usually look forward to the weekend.... I dread them Oh well keeps the pennies coming in. |
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Post by Gareth on Jul 8, 2012 9:06:31 GMT
the thing that pushes my big red "pisses me off" button when DJing. People coming up to me and saying something like " say happy birthday to Faye for Beckie and Lucy and all the girls at work - NOW SAY IT BACK TO ME TO MAKE SURE YOU GET IT RIGHT" .. This is met with a stare and the words "fuck off"  |
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